A_Happy_Event_(2011)_Un_heureux_événement ,BR_MKV_H264(France2Cinéma,Fre) 1280x544
A HAPPY EVENT
Ein freudiges Ereignis - (GERMAN)
It started here.
No... before.
- Overwhelming. - What?
This movie is overwhelming.
Cool.
Is that where it started?
"I'm No Angel"
She's hot for you.
"In the Mood for Love", "I'm No Angel"...
So?
Do you need "Deep Throat" to understand?
"A Man and a Woman", "The Rules of Attraction"
"Grand Illusion"
"One from the Heart"
"Rendez-vous"
"Dreams"
"Just A Kiss", "On my Lips"
"Men Think Only of That"
"Unforgiven"
"Intolerable Cruelty"
"Not Even Close"
When does a love story begin?
The first date?
The first kiss?
The first...
I love you.
Happy and in love,
far away from everything.
A smile would make my heart beat faster.
The slightest glance.
We were free, lighthearted.
That day, he said:
I want us to have a baby.
Out of desire, out of love
out of madness, I answered:
Let's do it.
In fact, that's where everything began.
You okay?
So what was so important?
Bab...
You said we had to talk, so talk.
We have to talk, Nico.
I'm listening.
You dumping me?
Not at all.
No one will steal it.
Why are you looking at your bag?
Did you know that for Freud bags are vaginal?
So why are you peering into your vagina?
This isn't how I meant to tell you.
You're pregnant?
Are you sure?
I thought of the 9 months ahead,
to dream about our baby,
feel it move, speak to it,
caress it.
I feel dizzy.
9 months of total happiness.
Your enemies are now
cheese, eggs, meat,
cold cuts, pâté... Not to mention:
your mother, mother-in-law,
anyone you know who has kids.
Listen to no one
and it will all go well.
You'll be delivering...
in early March.
The fifth.
March. Is that okay for you?
Barbara?
Yes, Mr. Truffard.
I'm counting on you, dear.
We can't spend an eternity on this.
You have 9 months to deliver your thesis. That should do.
If all goes well, we may name you assistant professor.
The Other in Wittengenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus
was the subject of my PhD.
But I was asking myself other questions.
Are you okay?
Of course. I'm fine.
You seem strange.
Different.
You've even changed physically.
You remind me of Gregor Samsa!
"The Metamorphosis"?
So tell me what you're hiding.
Nothing, Mr. Truffard... I swear.
It's all in your head.
I swear, you can't see a thing.
We'll do as we said, okay?
What? What is it?
What's wrong?
Nothing, honey.
Why are you staring?
New haircut?
No, why?
Something's different.
Really?
Your cheeks are fuller.
Enough already.
Think I didn't notice?
No alcohol, cigarettes, cheese.
Hiding your pregnancy?
That's so juvenile.
Mom, I'd have told you first.
Stop lying, honey. So, how many months?
You're in trouble, kiddo.
Believe me now?
Pathetic. You'd do anything not to tell me.
You think I'd intoxicate my baby?
Intoxicate... always such big words.
When I was pregnant I drank, smoked.
Not just cigarettes. And you're fine.
I was smoking at 12. What's that from?
Don't blame me for that.
At 12, with your braces and ridiculous glasses,
smoking was the only way to attract boys.
You chose those glasses.
You were very ungainly.
At least you looked smart.
And they covered your acne.
Shall we go?
You're hypersensitive.
And your mother...
I guess she knows, right?
Definitely not.
I knew it.
I can't believe you told her.
You promised.
What could I do? You know her.
Her radar sensed it in my voice.
I'm the last to know.
Honey, you can ask your mother-in-law to watch your baby.
I'm a lousy grandmother anyway.
I never see your nieces.
Katia would rather tie them to a tree.
Exactly.
- I meant to tell you. - When?
After giving birth?
I'll be over there.
Sure you're ready?
You're not even financially independent.
Why did I insist on graduate school?
Good thing I burnt my bra in the 70s!
Spare me. No woman burnt...
What's wrong?
She's pregnant.
Congratulations.
What, were you there?
And good luck.
You, a mother... Poor kid.
That's exactly why I kept my mouth shut.
I may not have a maternal streak.
Kids never interested me.
I find babies stupid and annoying.
As a kid, I wanted to grow up as quickly as possible.
I'm in school. You rent out videos.
You read comics.
It's not any comic. It's "Strange".
With the Silver Surfer.
Most noble, tormented superhero in the galaxy.
Seriously, look at us.
We're totally irresponsible.
Can we tend to a child?
You're immature.
"Survivor" makes you cry.
Thanks to your high-profile job,
you can converse using only "Back to the Future" dialogue.
Great Scott, you're right!
Come on, Nico... I mean it.
What do you think?
I think it's great.
Space.
The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.
Its five-year mission:
to explore strange new worlds.
To seek out new life and new civilizations.
To boldly go where no man has gone before!
The embryo,
the cephalic pole, the trunk,
the amniotic sac...
and the genitals.
If ever you want to know.
Whisper it to me, okay?
Are you crazy? You think it'll work if only you know?
You have a few weeks to think it over.
What's that little thing moving?
That's his heart beating.
That's why I wear 2 rubbers.
Tony! We're the first to see this.
Try to be polite.
I used to put tiger balm between them.
Spare us.
No, speak. Why do something so dumb?
It's obvious.
Imagine if the first rubber breaks.
She screams: irritated membranes.
It's like an alarm.
Gentleman say "irritated membranes".
- I thought you'd say... - "Pussy fire?"
Seriously, you're not freaking out?
Knowing I had something inside my belly
would drive me crazy.
It's true I was scared.
I felt possessed,
inhabited by something,
an alien.
A stranger who was ordering my body around.
An entity with its own tastes and desires ruling me from within.
It woke me up every morning.
It made me forget I was a vegetarian.
It made me crack up...
or cry for no reason.
It fiddled with my biological clock.
I was a squirrel by day, a bat by night.
Nicolas took it all with extreme breeziness.
Men are surprisingly able
to let things slide off them, like water.
4th month: I felt great.
I thought only about sex. My hormones were at their peak,
I'd reached the pinnacle of my femininity.
Sorry. It's like he's watching us.
Almost joining in.
Please... make love to me.
Fuck me.
I can't.
I feel self-conscious.
You screwed your thesis director?
No, I did an experiment.
I read a study about penis size by profession.
It says workers are better hung.
Come on, stop it.
I need sex. I dream of gang-bangs!
Can you speak louder? That guy didn't hear.
Men look at me and think I'm the Virgin Mary.
If they knew about the hormonal hurricane
raging in a pregnant woman's body...
they'd think again. Nicolas included.
See this pepper mill?
It's called Rubirosa.
After Porfirio Rubirosa,
a South American playboy from the 40s.
Particularly well-endowed.
Stop it. I can't stand it anymore.
I may be able to help.
- The "Magic Finger". - A bumpy ride!
If you don't like bumps...
try this. For hungry gals.
- We just ate. - A second ago.
You two seem close. How about sharing this?
Don't you have ducks instead?
You know, a little rubber ducky...
No ducks here.
But you may like Snoop.
Great Japanese import.
He vibrates and wags.
And if you whistle
he sticks out his tongue.
If you can whistle.
- What? - It moved.
- What's that dog? - The baby moved!
Really?
I don't feel anything.
He's just not into me.
You see?
The labia majora, labia minora...
and here... her clitoris.
We didn't want to know the gender.
- You did? - It's a girl.
You'd have found out sooner or later.
Her uterus is anteverted and anteflexed. It's perfect.
An ideal baby receptacle.
I don't believe it.
Perfect uterus, that's great!
What, you wanted a boy?
What I wanted was not to know.
Didn't I tell you?
Why does no one listen to my opinion?
I'm not just a uterus, dammit!
Nico, didn't you have question?
Yes, you did.
Does the baby swallow everything I do?
The umbilical cord and placenta are filters.
Food is broken down into nutrients.
The baby is not swallowing anything directly.
Sperm, for example. Was that it?
Well...
There are a lot of good nutrients in semen.
They'll be transmitted to the fetus, which will benefit.
But ma'am...
that shouldn't be the baby's primary food source.
To question the Other is to question oneself.
The Other, the alter ego.
What is a human?
Man belongs to the family "hominidae".
Genus 'homo', species 'sapiens'.
A primate similar to the apes.
Although a creature of nature,
man is cultural once he enters the realm of language.
Amandine?
Quiet!
Anouk?
Like our waitress?
Too close to "anus."
Eléanore.
You decided I won't work!
Eléanore?
Yeah, it's pretty.
Impossible. No way.
- Why? - With my last name?
- So? - Eléanore Malle.
"Elly Abnormal."
Mom, she's not abnormal.
It was a joke.
That's right.
Elly Abnormal. Get it?
Yeah, that's it.
I'll tell her.
I'll call you back. Love you.
Love you, Mom.
You won't believe it.
Your uterus...
ante-whatever-you-call-it...
Mom's is the same. Exactly the same.
Amazing!
- Not eating? - I lost my appetite.
Eat while I'll tell you about Dad's prostate.
I'm too fat anyway.
- I'll diet. - You're pregnant, not fat.
I figured it out. Babies eat what their mothers stock.
Women stock fat so mankind survives.
If I eat less, the baby will eat my fat.
Like a taenia.
Comparing our baby to a tapeworm isn't very nice.
We can always call her Tania.
You know, I love our apartment.
It's great for the two of us.
But too small for 3. I know.
And the three-room apartment on the first floor?
Can we afford it?
No, but if I change jobs, if I get a real one...
Like...
suit and tie, brief case... the whole shebang.
I had an interview today.
Really?
Remember when we met...
you said you wanted to make movies.
You said Tarantino also started out in a video store.
Tarantino doesn't have kids.
This is the Pleyo.
A very good buy for the money.
You need to be an engineer.
It comes with instructions.
This one looks good.
That's the top of the line.
The "Bebesta Rosa".
Three in one:
stroller, car-seat and cradle.
Nonskid handles, ABS brakes, handlebars with a sippy cup holder.
It folds up...
like that... and unfolds like this.
What's this?
An odometer.
Got it in metallic grey?
Come here.
- What? - "Strollers of Death".
Parents of victims of stroller accidents.
They did crash tests.
It's ours. The Bebesta Rossa.
2 out of 10.
Know what they call it?
"The baby coffin."
We'll return it.
The Pleyo got 9 out of 10.
Let's get the Pleyo.
The Other is both similar and different.
It can also be considered an enemy,
a danger.
The Other is doomed to be misunderstood.
Via dialectics, the Other soon becomes
a living hell.
Get my package?
Our retarded mom already sent it to me.
Your retarded mom gave you her 1970 edition.
And my dumb mom gave it to me.
I bet you never read it.
- I did. I even took notes. - You still fucked us up!
Remember that whatever you do,
your kid will always say you fucked up.
Just read it... mine preferably.
My notes must be...
funny.
Read them both!
I'll even do a comparative study if you want.
Laurence Pernoud in 1970 was more liberal
than in 2010. Take cigarettes, for example.
In '70 smoking pregnant wasn't an ethical problem.
In 2010 it's a crime against humanity.
Crazy, isn't it?
Fight back. Refuse to become a dog.
Don't join the pack, follow orders.
Play hooky.
Play pinball.
Play hooky again.
Keep playing hooky.
Loaf around.
Get bored.
And wait, wait...
wait...
Help!
You take my birthing classes?
Are you sure?
All of them?
It's very important.
Some women look down on them. They regret it after.
Stop tensing up so I can examine you.
I'm in pain, not tense.
It's only just begun.
Can you stop the pain?
But I can stop aggressive women.
I'm not. You are.
You are aggressive. See? You all are.
An extra cap.
They're for your feet.
I'll be next door. Call if you need to.
Dr. Malle won't be long.
- You okay? - What a stupid idea!
- What? - Your uncle delivering me.
What's the idea? Family-style delivery?
He's great. You love him.
Less when he sees my legs spread and gushing blood.
No more dinner with him.
This is a mistake.
Can we please go home?
Don't touch me.
- What do I do? - Quiet.
- Leave me alone. - I'll go.
- Stop! - I'll stay!
- Come here! - Here I am.
I've had enough...
What is it?
What's going on?
- She died. - What?
Of course not... the baby just moved.
Your mom wants to be in the delivery room.
Tell her to go.
- She insists. - Call security.
I'll take care of it.
Arch your back like a cat.
Here.
What's that?
If you came to my birthing classes,
you'd know.
I don't get it. You skipped classes?
Where were you?
Where?
In a café, dammit!
Are you CIA?
Leave me alone!
I'm fainting.
I'll go get a coffee.
It's nice seeing you two.
Come for dinner soon.
Cool. Anytime.
Hold on...
What will you call her?
Do you like Martha?
- Like Aunt Martha? - Exactly.
Why not? It's nice.
Lea... I want to name her Lea.
It'll be Lea, okay?
Here, this can help.
No, for her.
Again.
Contractions... now!
Come on, push!
- It hurts. - So use your pump.
I don't know what it's for.
It's to stop the pain.
Go on... take it.
Good.
That's why you don't skip class.
Bitch!
You bitch!
Let's get going.
Push out the baby.
Concentrate.
Use the straps. Very good.
Breath in. Fill your lungs.
Pull your arms. Push!
Very good.
Curl onto your belly... Perfect.
Keep it up, once more...
Catch your breath.
Breathe in. Hold it. Pull on the straps...
Push. Once more.
Come on, once more.
Let's start over.
I'll do an episiotomy.
Keep on pushing.
You okay?
Let's start over.
A mass of spasms and convulsions.
No conception of time, or what I was doing there.
No one warned me,
not even my mother.
Our brains must destroy the memory of pain.
Later, everything will be erased from my memory,
as if by magic.
But the truth is: when you deliver, they rip your insides
then sew you back together with needle and thread.
Check-up time.
Look at the stitches. Come closer. They're dissolvable.
It takes about 4 days.
No bruising or swelling.
Bruises can develop on the scar tissue.
It's healing well. Good work. "Haute suture".
So long. Have a nice day.
You need to sleep.
She'll be fine. Don't worry.
I'll give her back in the morning.
What's wrong?
You're still here?
Lea and I are going to stay. We're not ready yet.
Stop talking nonsense.
Hurry up. I'll help you.
Look at you!
What's the problem?
- You can't understand. - Afraid? It's nothing.
Your hormones are in freefall.
And it's normal to be afraid.
I can't manage.
Of course you can!
Trust yourself. It'll come naturally. You'll see.
What if it doesn't?
What if we don't get along?
Believe me.
She'll win you over.
Very few women ever resist.
Have a good cry.
It'll do you good...
- Thanks. - Don't mention it.
Can you burp her?
She puked on me.
Mom
Why is Baby Crying?
Can you give me a hand?
Dr. Marcaurel, you can help
answer a question all harried mothers ask:
how to kill your baby?
And avoid arrest.
Of course.
Spoiled milk, full of germs... Very effective.
A peanut. A toy. Candy is appetizing and radical:
guaranteed choking.
What's wrong?
Hello, Mr. Truffard. I meant to call you.
Otherness must be broached phenomenologically.
Levinas' caress that leads to the invisible...
Besides the point?
Listen, we need to talk, sir.
Hello!
My name is Lea. One month old and I talk.
Who's that? Is that Mommy coming home?
Cool! Mommy went shopping!
What are you doing?
Preserving Lea's first moments.
- Camcorder? - It just came.
There's a note for you inside.
"Send movies of my granddaughter. Love, Dad."
As terse as ever.
He's free to visit. Otherwise, fuck him.
Come on, honey... Ready?
Bedtime?
That's rough.
He's your father.
Don't lecture me about him. He left when I was 4, was never there.
If he were dead, it'd be the same.
No, it wouldn't.
I didn't mean that.
Sorry.
That's Mommy's.
What are you doing?
Is that what you want?
She sleeps nights. It's cool.
She sleeps nights?
Only one person here sleeps nights. Not her.
Should I wake up at night to give her my breast?
Did she eat?
Isn't it obvious?
Yeah, it is.
A time-line of food since birth.
Just one T-shirt?
Just one neuron?
Do I have time for that?
- Shall I change her? - No, I will.
I'll take care of it.
- I said I'll go. - I'm going!
What seems to be the problem here?
That really stinks.
It makes my eyes sting!
Don't make her constipated like her dad.
Seriously,
your mom gave you a poop complex
as a baby.
Smells yummy!
I could eat it up!
Lea, please...
No more diapers!
Go to the drugstore.
I need hair-loss shampoo
and my stretch-mark cream.
The jumbo pack.
I used to be romantic...
My suppositories too.
Fucking piece of shit stroller!
I used to be philosophical.
I was carefree, innocent.
There were things I wasn't aware of.
Your perineum is a disaster.
Distended from delivery.
Imagine a hammock that an elephant sat in.
Are you incontinent as well?
It's normal.
But the perineum is a muscle.
So we'll work it.
This probe measures the strength of your perineal contractions.
Okay.
It's funny.
When I spoke to your secretary, I figured you were a woman.
Your name, Camille Rose...
Pretty clever.
This won't hurt after surgery?
Not at all. Besides, you've been fully healed for a while.
Are relations painful?
Relations?
Yes... your relations.
No, given that... I haven't had...
Since giving birth you haven't...
No relations.
You'll be so happy in your room!
This kid came with a sex-detector. It's wild.
Make room for us.
Is this a good idea?
Exceptionally.
What's this joke?
It's no joke. It's for the fridge.
It was the only date available.
Sunday morning? How dare you?
Are you kidding?
I do everything here and you complain.
I'm complaining because it's Sunday and I need to rest up.
- Repairmen. - First floor.
And her... this has to stop.
The bed is for two, not three.
It's been going on for weeks.
I'm exhausted.
I'm beat. I need sleep. I work like a horse!
In the kitchen.
In the kitchen...
Hear that, Roger.
How original.
What's the problem?
It doesn't work.
I don't work like a horse?
Yeah, I goof around all day.
I have no free time.
Every day, the same routine.
It's like "Groundhog Day".
You just don't plan well.
Of course... It's my fault.
I'm tired too, Nico.
You're going crazy.
Sunday repairs are not cool.
I'm going crazy! I do everything and no one helps me.
I'd like to be snuggled too.
To be made love to, dammit!
I'm losing it.
I can't cope anymore. I'm drowning.
I think I know the answer.
Hello, Edith.
Trouble with baby Martha?
Her name is not Martha. It's Lea.
- Can I come in? - Sure.
Hold the back of her neck.
- Isn't she sucking air? - Think so?
I don't think so.
I'll burp her.
Give me her bib.
She's still hungry.
Then you don't have enough milk. Give her a bottle.
I prefer to breastfeed.
Tomorrow I'll bring my penis pump.
I mean my breast pump.
To extract more milk.
I want to keep breastfeeding. Understand?
You want, you want...
But you can't.
Don't worry. I'm here to help.
I breastfed Nico for 5 years.
I know the ropes.
Were you breastfed?
No way!
It damages the breasts. Torture. And I tried...
3 weeks with Katia.
It hurt so much I kept swearing.
I couldn't keep calling you a bitch.
Understand, sweetie?
No help for cutting the umbilical cord.
- Why breastfeed? - Because...
Because society forces you to.
No such thing as a perfect mother.
Settle on being a mediocre one, like me.
I do it because I'm a mammal.
Don't start with that natural crap.
I read an article where Céline Dion said breastfeeding was like art.
"When Baby René suckles, I become an artist."
Another triumph for the Milk Club.
They must have brainwashed poor Céline.
Milk Club?
If you go, consider yourself warned:
I won't rescue you from that sect.
I'm Barbara and Lea is 5 months old.
Hello, Barbara! Hello, Lea!
So, are you breastfeeding Lea?
Yes, but I'm short on milk. Maybe I should use a bottle too?
The bottle is our enemy.
Avoid bottles at all costs.
Baby sling?
Co-sleep?
You sleep with her?
We're in favor of baby-slings and co-sleeping.
Okay.
Yes, I sleep with her sometimes.
But my husband and I don't have much of a sex life.
Co-sleeping gives Baby all her chances.
It's easier to breastfeed if you sleep together.
Mind if Mom eats here?
Of course not.
But she keeps giving Lea bottles behind my back.
She's sabotaging my breastfeeding.
Bottles are our enemy, understand?
She'll sleep here tonight. All the driving exhausts her.
Ready for you bath, honey?
Everything okay?
Need anything?
Fast asleep.
She's happy in her crib!
I thought of you too...
What is it?
My breast pump.
I loved it when Nicolas was suckling. I remember it fondly.
But this greedy monster sure could hurt!
My nipples were very irritated.
This machine saved my bosom.
Can you give me a hand?
She has it in for me.
You're being paranoid!
She's here to help and all you do is criticize.
Ask your mom to come.
See how long you last.
I'll call mine when I hit rock bottom.
Why are you a drama queen?
Because my life is all drama.
Trust my mom. She's great with kids.
Just look at me.
Yeah, look at you.
You're a mama's boy. I need a man, a real one.
She was hungry.
Tonight you sleep in your bed, okay? With your animals.
Pandi Panda.
He goes here.
Who's this? Zaza the giraffe on ecstasy...
And here's your blanket.
I was dying to love him and to feel loved,
but it was difficult.
My body had become callous.
All I felt was a kind of embarrassment.
Does it hurt?
It's fine. Just be gentle.
Nurses, doctors, midwives, obstetricians...
so many people had touched me so mechanically,
that from then on, I felt desecrated.
My vagina was no longer sexual.
It was just a... conduit,
torn apart...
stitched...
unstitched...
but never truly healed.
I lived for her.
Nothing could top her.
Nothing else mattered.
I love you.
Not one bit.
We shared moments of grace,
fusion.
Moments of absolute love.
But Nicolas and I were drifting apart,
like two continents...
I realize now that breastfeeding is so satisfying,
the pleasure so intense and symbiotic,
that the effect on me is sensual... emotional...
Orgasmic?
Same time next Friday?
That will be our last session.
Can I maybe have a few more sessions?
Of course.
Did you know I teach physical therapy?
Would you show my students?
What a perineum!
I'm sorry.
Don't feel obligated.
I'm sorry...
It's just that...
it's the first compliment I've got since I gave birth.
Take some time for yourself.
Go out, see friends, have fun.
Start living.
Who'll take care of her?
Doesn't she have a father?
Call a babysitter.
My one favor. I haven't seen my friends in ages!
I'll even use your mom's industrial breast pump.
- You're so selfish! - Cut it out!
You know I want to, but not that night.
I can't miss Tony's birthday.
I don't see my friends either.
There must be a way of unfolding our stroller!
It doesn't matter. She's fine.
At least she'll see something other than you.
How do you know she's fine?
Did you ask her?
Let go of her a little.
If I let go, she falls.
What about daycare?
Actually, I went back.
The bitch said we're on the waiting list.
I know I went about it late.
I should have signed her up before she was conceived.
We can ask my mom.
Or yours.
Okay, let's call a babysitter.
What's that?
My-baby-sitter-is-a-monster.com
The neighbors seem trustworthy.
Good idea.
Sweetheart...
tonight you stay with the nice lady.
Mommy's going to get dead-drunk.
I'll become pathetic and forget my name.
But I have to see my friends.
Come in...
Not exactly a shortage of kids here.
They're all yours?
One more, one less: same difference.
How do you manage? It's not too much?
I mean, it must be exhausting.
It's fine.
In the end, it all gets back to normal.
Back to normal...
but what's normal?
Is it normal when you're unhappy
to avoid your family at all costs?
Or have a baby to set things right
only to divorce soon after?
Or stay together
because you don't have the courage to separate?
There are all kind of normality.
But I know no couples with kids who managed to stay in love.
Not one.
- Good evening. - Morning.
I'm here for my daughter.
Your husband picked her up... 6 hours ago.
Sorry!
No biggie...
Who's that waking up? Is that Mommy?
Mommy wants to puke.
I feel like crap.
Is she hooked on the bottle?
I like giving her one.
- Enough breastfeeding. - What time is it?
Noon.
We sang the porcupine song...
and about the mole who gets pooped on.
And we even played bunny.
You ate well.
Nice little belly.
Riding in my cart, baby jiggle, baby fart...
Why are you here?
Where's Nico?
Buying food. He called me, frazzled.
I felt like 911.
Poor thing, abandoned by her alcoholic mother.
She looks just like you.
It's like I'm thirty again.
I'll take her.
You're too close to her.
That's no good.
She'll get too dependent.
And she'll make you pay.
I don't feel well...
I can imagine. How could you get so drunk?
It's reckless!
Listen to you!
You took LSD and tried driving to Goa with two kids.
Wasn't that reckless?
You can't hold that against me forever.
And nothing happened to you.
Thanks to the cops who pulled you over.
What an ingrate.
After all I've done...
Who insisted on grad school?
Here we go.
Who rooted for you
even if you never touched the ball?
Who clapped at your boring recitals?
As a baby,
who crossed all over Nepal to buy you milk?
Feel better?
Why did you call my mom?
You said to call her only if you hit rock bottom.
In my book, you hit rock bottom.
A vacation.
The only thing to save our couple.
To the Baby Club!
To whoever invented it!
He deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.
He? I think it's a woman's doing.
To save humankind.
Want a sip?
You want a sip?
Non-alcoholic Pina Colada?
I'll keep my jumbo Mojito.
It's amazing here... an island paradise.
You mean Temptation Island.
What was that?
Stop eyeing those bimbos.
Or get phony Pina Colada in your face.
I wasn't eyeing them. I was looking there...
That'll teach you.
That's a good Pina Colada.
Too bad there's no alcohol.
I love you.
Show me how much.
Stay!
- I can't. - You can!
Stay here!
Look in the Ménatte file.
I filed it under "un-filed".
Forget it. I'll be there in a few minutes.
In the act of birth, we experience sundering,
devotion to the Other, responsibility.
We go beyond the limits of our bodies.
And also the boundaries of our minds.
Our most decisive experience is the bursting,
the spillover of consciousness before the Other.
That is to say, Infinity.
Come in...
You've really disappointed me, Barbara.
You were one of my best students. I respected your intellect.
Those fragments you sent me... that's all they are.
Snippets.
I don't know what you meant, but that's not philosophy.
I'll fix it.
Your ideas are scattered.
The end contradicts the beginning, as if you changed subjects.
So change thesis directors.
Or professions.
It would be a crime to let you teach.
Mr. Truffard... please...
Give me a chance. One last extension.
Take your time, dear.
I gave the job to your colleague, Jean-Baptiste Leroux.
Still no images of my granddaughter?
I'm waiting...
Here, Dad. This is your granddaughter, Lea.
Does she look like me?
What's up?
Or like Nicolas who you never met?
She's not asleep?
She refuses. I may use formaldehyde.
Good luck.
Nine months.
She cries nonstop, doesn't sleep nights. No idea why.
Maybe it's genetic.
Mom said I also cried a lot as a child.
Do you remember?
Do girls cry because they miss their daddies?
Nicolas works so much, I wonder if he's leading a double life.
Sound familiar, Dad?
She's asleep. But for how long?
Soon she'll wake up and I'll put her back to sleep.
Over and over.
Sing her stupid songs.
About seals, ponies, otters
and tons of other animals.
She's up.
Farewell.
There you go, Dad. Now you know her.
No need to cross the globe to meet her.
So long. See you around some day.
The good news is that Santa exists and he got here on time.
Not like some people.
Time for gifts.
I'm sorry.
We've been waiting for you.
Merry Christmas, babe.
Are you hungry?
There's turkey and cake and plenty to drink.
Very good cake.
Really?
- What time is it? - Noon.
Fuck...
I'm seeing Tony. You could have woken me!
I'm sick of not sleeping in my bed.
I should go to a hotel.
It's not a hotel here?
Can I call room service for coffee?
Dial 1.
- Who's that? - Tony!
Can you open the door?
It's a mess. So am I. Have him wait.
He has a present for the kid.
Come on up.
You didn't even open mine.
I'm so sick of your reproaches.
Merry Christmas.
Can you take care of her?
Let him cry a little bit.
How old is he?
She's nine. It's a girl.
Let her cry for nine minutes.
A minute a month. It's sink or swim.
Look at the Sioux.
They leave their kids alone.
They fall into rivers, get burnt...
They learn real fast!
Try it with your kids.
You won't have any. It goes against polygamy.
Relax...
The little monster...
Look.
Things are tense.
See how she talks to me?
I just want to go far away.
You can't leave her.
- Not today. It's Christmas. - Idiot...
Let's get going.
She's hungry. She wants your breast.
You wanted to see her.
She's great.
We have to go now.
Yeah, go have lunch while I slave away.
Then how about a blowjob?
You are so damn pathetic.
I'll go down.
Don't humiliate me again.
You humiliated yourself.
I'm sick of your remarks, your pessimism. I've had enough.
I'm leaving.
Yeah, leave.
That's when we broke up.
You'll never see Lea again.
I'll go straight to the cops!
No, this is when.
You want to split up over this?
What's wrong? You're not yourself.
I feel so alone here, locked up in this place all day.
Under house arrest.
I've barely gone out in a year.
You didn't even notice.
I cry all the time.
It's like I'm full of water.
I'm confused...
Nothing makes me happy. I feel so cut off.
I'm drained.
Not full of water?
I need to get out of here.
I need breathing room. So do you.
You really want to split up?
I need some time to myself.
You want to go?
Be my guest.
But Lea stays. It's non-negotiable.
Want some weed tea?
Men are good-for-nothings.
You can't count on them at all.
If you accept that, things get better.
You tell me that over and over.
What should I do? Give up, like you?
Is that really the reason you never remarried?
It's not easy with two young girls.
So it's our fault.
Was it our fault Dad left too?
Not at all.
How can you imagine that?
Only your father and I are to blame. I just meant it's harder...
With two young girls. I know.
We're not young anymore.
Honestly,
you don't want to end up alone, do you?
You're a pain!
Always a pain. Your sister too, but you're worse.
Why have kids if it's such a pain?
I loved your Dad so much.
The most beautiful thing I could do with him
was to have children.
Should I boil some more?
Sure, but I feel nothing at all.
Did you get the videos?
My granddaughter is gorgeous.
She reminds me of someone: you.
Word with "top" or "split".
Banana.
Oh yeah.
"Born mute" in six letters.
It's for me.
Is my house a hotel again?
You're not ready yet?
I am. Why?
We're not going to Disneyland.
Forget it. They're from when I was 17.
But you were hot when you were 17.
- No way. - Yes way.
It's not too much?
Too much what?
Too slutty.
Because you need to do your hair.
Why didn't you tell me before?
I can't be unhappy. I'm a mom.
How can I complain?
It would be indecent.
Having a baby is supposed to be beautiful.
Bab, all that is just theory...
So how's your perineum?
Pretty good...
I guess.
As healthy as ever?
That's pretty common.
Breaking up after childbirth.
You can ask my wife.
I mean...
My ex-wife.
That guy of yours should realize how lucky he is...
I'm sorry.
I can't say for now.
The 17th?
I'll ask my assistant.
Pencil in the 17th, please.
It's time to go to sleep.
Husserl, Kant,
Heidegger...
I'd read them all for nothing.
Instead of opening my eyes, philosophy tied me to concepts.
In life, I was helpless.
That day,
when I opened my eyes...
I was like a turtle on its back.
It started then...
I felt that I existed, that I was adrift...
"We're not born mothers. We become them."
Responsible for another...
Never without an epidural!
Husbands should not see you deliver.
A horror film starring me...
Her hairy butt placed on my belly.
My life was no longer mine. I was a chasm, a void, nothing...
Now I was a mother.
A Happy Event
...novel.
With her, everything changed.
She upended my life.
She drove me into a corner,
then forced me beyond my limits.
She made me confront the absolute:
love, sacrifice,
tenderness, abandonment.
She dislocated me,
transformed me.
You managed?
- To? - Unfold the stroller.
A couple in the street helped.
Three people can do wonders.
I missed you so much...
Come here!
I feel like it's been a year.
Tell me everything, little monster.
Everything you two did.
Hour by hour, minute by minute.
It's okay for daycare.
Really?
She starts in January.
What did you do?
I saw the principal and I did this...
Who could resist?
Look!
What's that?
It's snow.
It was snowing the day you were born.
Pretty, isn't it?
Here's your blankie, sweetheart.
Shouldn't we talk?
Yes.
I'd like to think a glance is enough to know you're still in love,
that we were too much in love.
Everything disappears with time.
But what remains, what endures by some great mystery
is life.
Yes, life.
Subtitles: Andrew Litvack
Subtitling: Eclair Video - Paris